May 2013
21 posts
How to break up with someone
You: Your ex is attractive.
Partner: Which one?
You: ME.
You: BYEEEE
sherry-blossom:
castielhasthephoneb0x:
i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it
LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM
As if it was his new born child
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man: Fuck you, slut.
“I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident...”
– Kristin Armstrong (via modernhepburn)
miss-doctorwho:
stantanalopez:
i was looking through all of my old documents on my computer and i stumbled across a really long one with 25 pages and i read the wHOLE THING and when i got to the very end
i saw this
so i got excited and looked underneath my mattress but instead i found this
why
wow past you was a bitch
April 2013
107 posts
radical-illusion:
theyellowbrickroad:
when i was 14 i was really against drugs but all of my friends were into getting high so i went to whole foods and bought empty pill capsules and filled them with sugar and told my friends that it was a new drug named pax imported from africa and that my other friends older brother gave them to me and my friends pretended like they got high off of the...
bellatrixissexy:
winchester-hale:
idontknowaskhermione:
It’s actually really disturbing that kids falling asleep in school is viewed as them being lazy and not as the school overworking them to the point that they literally can’t stay awake.
i fell asleep in chemistry class once and my teacher got me a pillow and a blanket and made the class work in silence so i could sleep.
Best teacher...
I miss all of you. But there’s nothing we can do. We have drifted or at least I have from all of you. Even the occasional whatsapp wouldnt change anything cause nobody answers. I miss us. The six of us. Hahaha
avucado:
let’s play the “how much time can i waste before i start crying about how stressed i am because im procrastinating my life away” game
“My life is what I do now, right in this very moment. It’s not what I did then or...”
– Michelle Bartlett (via southernsmyle)
So annoyed. All your bullshit just pisses me off so much
agentotter:
islandofmisfitt0ys:
deviantfemme:
pratfall:
how to dress for your shape: are you human-shaped? play up your natural sex appeal by wearing whatever the fuck you want
Life Tip: As the weather gets warmer, continue to wear whatever the fuck you want. Flaunt everything or keep it cool under cover. Dress to make yourself feel rad.
how to get a bikini body: put a bikini on your...
healthbabe:
stephenfrycunninglinguist:
poptarter:
talaem:
“don’t be shy” thanks u cured me
“just chill out” wow whered my anxiety go?
“why don’t you see that you’re beautiful” now my self esteem’s completely fixed thanks.
“just stop feeling sad” holy fuck you just cured my crippling depression!
